Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, Abbygail!

goofing off near a canal, somewhere outside Keukenhof, in the Netherlands The last five years have been, to put it mildly, a bit trying. I lost my father, my brother, my clients1, and quite a bit of my sanity. I lost a lot of weight and then gained it all again. The career pivot is going slower than expected. I feel pettily jealous of the bright young minds I mentor, when they go on to accomplish great new things, while I am here, clawing the mud. There are days, I don’t want to get out of bed at all. ...

Dad “He’s dead?” said Princess. […] “Who told you that?” said Grandad. “We keep that name moving in the Overhead,” he said, and it seemed to Princess that the wind in the shutter arrays above her blew more forlornly […] His name is in the code, in the wind, in the rigging, and the shutters. Haven’t you ever heard the saying, ...

“So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not Ill-supplied but wasteful of it.” […] All things that are still to come lie in uncertainty; live straightway!” ― Lucius Annæus Seneca, On the Shortness of Life Thank you, for sharing my journey with me! ...

Click the pic for a larger one Love looks pretty on you. Makes you soft, tender, proud. Makes you sit up and take notice. Gives you a home to set down your things. What a blessing it is, to have music and dancing and poetry. What a gift it is, to look at someone and say, I’m so happy to have found you at last, at last, at long, long last you’re here. ...

This birthday is my first without Daddy. And so this post today, because I want these words out of my head and heart, before they overwhelm me. Dad & I have birthdays immediately following each other (the 25th & 26th.) All my birthday memories are inextricably linked with him. Him being indulgent with his firstborn. Him holding me close and sharing his cake with me as I grew. Him taking care of me and letting me crawl into his lap to say our prayers on cold mornings in our small drafty house. Him being patient with me during my crazy headed years. And always waiting for me, for our shared birthday cake. Me loving the fact that I could share my cake with him as I grew. That I could take care of him, like he did me. That I was a sterner dad to him, than he ever was to me. ...