For the past twenty years, you’ve been the bane of my existence.
I slept with the phone by the bedside, never knowing when Mummy would call, and one of us would have to come find you, and dig you out of the newest hole you dug for yourself. And none of those years have been harder, than the one where we were estranged for the past year. Two decades of picking up after you had taken their toll.
I told you repeatedly over the years, that while all was always forgiven, it was hard for me to forget. Especially since I lived amidst the wreckage of your actions.
In fits of frustration, I would wail to Abby or Mummy, “Why doesn’t this boy understand?”
Until you decided to move on.
You were always my boy.
I taught you to walk.
I made you laugh.
I taught you cricket. I outgrew it, but it was a lifelong passion with you.
With the exception of your weakness, you were the best of us.
You outsang us in choir, even as a three year old.
You probably were the only person who I’d say was more generous than Daddy was. (to the extent of people taking advantage of your gullibility so many times.)
You had the most joie-de-vivre. You made us laugh.
You were sensitive and kind. Nobody who met you, would come away unhappy or sad.
And for all your foibles, I believe that you loved Mummy and Daddy the most. I might be responsible, Derrick might be caring, but you had the biggest heart.
You gave me your love for animals.
You saved Puppy, by making sure she lived as a puppy.
You jumped into that large stinking drain and pulled her out later, when she got stuck. Foxy, Puppy, Little Puppy, Two Socks, Pink Nose or Popsicle would not be here, if it wasn’t for you.
I might have been the straitlaced one, and you and Derrick have a bond, that is actually brotherly, but both of you had no problems defending an older brother who took life too seriously.
You believed in me blindly. You believed I could be wrong a hundred ways to Sunday, but I would never wrong you intentionally.
So I choose to remember everything that was good about you.
Derrick told me, your last words to him were, “Good, you came.”
I want to imagine you only held on, until you felt like you were back home.
And now that you’re with Daddy, I hope to see you one day, and I hope you tell me, “Good, you came” too.
You will always be my boy.
I love you.