Just something that kept coming to mind today.

I met an old friend the other day. We’d fallen out of touch and gone our separate ways.
We were both gifted watches by another friend of ours at the time.
And they pointed out to me, I was still wearing the same watch.

I gently pointed out to them, that this watch was a different one, something the better half gifted me just after we got married. This is a white dial, see. The old one was blue. And then we moved on to other things.

What I didn’t tell them, was that I still have the old one.
It’s battered.
It’s scratched.
It works.
It keeps perfect time.
It’s beautiful.1

I didn’t tell them, because I imagine, they probably wanted me to remember the times we were together, fondly. Because I imagine, they think I’d get all dewey eyed over friendships long lost.

And that’s not why I have it around at all.
It was my companion through the worst years of my life.
When I was lost, at sea and barely keeping my head above water.
When I was nursing my brutally broken heart, which then got broken again. And again.
When I had no money, and no friends.
When I was thinking of the futility of going through one more day.
That’s when I’d strap it on. And go live one more day.
I have it, because it reminds me of my resilience.
I have it, because it reminds, I decided to live.

Strange that a thing has lasted longer than my friendships.
Not so strange, when I realise that it’s no longer a gift.
It’s imbued with the echoes and memories of decades of my life. Those that I chose to live.
It’s not just mine. It’s me.

P.S. If the blue is for resilience, the white is for joy.

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